(February 26, Friday)
I spent the night hanging out with my friends because their one roommate had left to spend the weekend with her parents. After dinner, we played some games and had some interesting yet gross talks to say the least. During our conversations their roommate was brought up and I instantly started thinking about what I talked about on Wednesday. My entire mood changed within minutes. They noticed that I wasn’t responsive and went into hermit mode. As they tried to get word out of me they assumed that something they said made me angry. I assured them that was not the case. The more and more they tried to get me to talk about what was going on in my mind the more I became uneasy. I eventually got up and left the room without explanation or saying goodbye.
I just didn’t want to break down in front of them. It was difficult, but I knew at that moment that I had to do something or else I would make a fool of myself. I didn’t want them to know about what happened that night; I wanted to wait until later, when I could actually maintain some self-control.
One lesson I learned that night was that people will start to think you hate them if you don’t begin to speak your mind. This is one downside to being an introvert that enjoys thoughtful silence.