(January 14, Thursday)
After hearing and thinking about the news I received the day before, I came to the conclusion that I just needed to make my birthday a collective invitation rather than a one on one, personal interaction. I talked with the other two of my friend’s roommates and asked them if it would be better to change things back to the original plan. They agreed, as did I.
My thoughts were uncontrolled throughout the whole day as I focused on academics versus relationships. I was unbelievably tired and wanted as much little interaction as possible (that didn’t work out so well). I just enjoy keeping to myself when I have important questions on my mind that require me to deeply analyze their significance.
Sadly, I must say, the lack of sleep was my punishment for such high expectations of what would never become true; it helped me come to a more rational conclusion on how to approach a deeper friendship with the situation I am in or will be in.