(January 13, Wednesday)
Today I found out the answer to my question. I know for a fact that I will not be getting into a relationship this year. However, I cannot say I am sad but I cannot say that I am fully happy. Nevertheless, I will be focusing on my academics a bit more now, but I will not give up hope. I will still be the one I want to be for this person.
I suppose it was too soon to get all excited and set my expectations high. I understand now, that although I have not been in a relationship, I know that waiting is the hardest and most important thing to do. If I really want the most out of a relationship, I am going to have to make the most out of a long lasting friendship.
It hit me rather hard when I heard the words right before me. I felt like I lost something and my efforts were futile.
As I sit here, 1:25 in the morning, contemplating what would have happened if I continued without answers, I realize I am in a better position now. I still have many thoughts on what I want to do with my major and future. This new experience of independence is too important to turn down over a friendship that I hastily expected to become more.
So on I go, no tears tonight.