College Day 70 – Relationships Part 4

(October 26, Monday)

Today’s intriguing thought:

I had talked with my mother over the phone because Thanksgiving was approaching and I wasn’t going home. Instead, last month or so I was invited to my roommate’s girlfriend’s house for Thanksgiving. But since they broke up recently my mom had 21 questions up her sleeve.

No I wasn’t interested in her, nor her in me, but yes I wanted to go because it was a new experience. I didn’t care if I would be going with a group. I just didn’t want to stay in my dorm for a week. I feel like it will be a great opportunity to strengthen friendships and help me overcome my anxiety of talking to others in a large group setting (she said her family is huge and crowded during Thanksgiving).

Anyway, my mother talked to me about getting in a relationship and (indirectly said) setting boundaries. From her point of view, a relationship was better off without the touchy-feely stuff. No holding hands, no kissing, etc… because it would only “lead to more.” I myself believe that is an issue of self-control, otherwise I do not see anything wrong with holding hands or kissing (aside from the special first kiss on the wedding day).

I just think that this day in age is so focused on relationships that are intimate like that. Now, here I am trying to find a balance between my mother’s wise words and the gradually crafted “folkways,” if you will, of society that tell me holding hands and kissing is alright.

I understood what she meant when it is better to have a long-lasting friendship before getting into a relationship that you think might work out. I know that, I get that. I just think that maybe once you’ve established the fact that you’ve been so long in that friendship and are willing to be in a relationship that holding hands or even kissing is okay.

This is completely subjective, I am just slowly trying to figure out what is best for me, but I never get a clear answer that satisfies me. I often believe that I just have to experience it for myself and make observations like I always have. Live and learn, even if life sucks so much.

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