I have two different voices. The first is the one which I vocalize in every situation. The other is my mind. I am always thinking, planning, analyzing various scenarios of conversations in my head. Everything goes according to plan, and I reenact it over and over to make sure it sounded good. I bring the conversations (that I want to have) to life.
When I have completed a full train of thought and have shared it with an imaginary person, I feel smart, accomplished. But whenever the opportunity greets me, my true self emerges. I want to begin that one conversation I so delicately prepared for, yet time and time again I stumble on words and find my voice shaking.
My second voice is so outgoing and easy to listen to, relate to. However, when intentions meet action, I fail. That is why I resort to writing. Because I have written, observed the conversation in full and have known every word without the slip of the tongue. The words are here, on paper, online, wherever they may be.
So I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way? You get an idea or thought stirring in your head. You know your answer or your own way of discussing the subject. You want to speak or share it with someone else because otherwise it means nothing to you. Everything goes according to plan, and you sound sophisticated, but in reality your first voice is not passionate enough to speak your mind.
I feel as if this is a sign of wisdom for anyone in the same boat. We know we are intelligent, we often just convey a humble approach. Nevertheless, writing is a blessing because my conversations, thoughts, and ideas cannot escape me when I have made them tangible.